Well, here is journal six of an odyssey that started almost a year ago when my symptoms really
kicked in, and more than six months since my diagnosis.. The sixth, but not the last.
As I mentioned in my last journal, I had a PET (Positron Emission Tomography) scan last week.
This test was to make some decisions about further efforts against the cancer.. Two CAT scans
had shown sites still existing which had not decreased in size. The best case scenario expected
was to continue my chemo for another two months, and then to evaluate whether radiation and/or
a bone marrow transplant would be needed afterward.
Many of you have commented about how these journals help you understand what this experience
is like. So, for those of you who would like to have empathy with going through a PET scan, I
propose the following audience participation exercise... First, find a spot to lay down that a
medical equipment manufacturer would consider "comfortable." The two that come to mind
would be lying down on your concrete driveway, or using a New Delhi nail board. Anything more
comfortable would be considered extravagant by the medical equipment designers... Now, put
your arms straight up so that your biceps are against your ears, then fold your arms down on top
of your head. Hold this pose. For 50 minutes... And don't move a muscle in your body, or you will
mess up the picture and that 50 minutes won't count. Now, you can stand up. For five minutes.
Then you get to do it again for 50 minutes. Then a five minute break, than another 50 minutes.
Feel the burn???? By now most peoples arms are stuck up there permanently... This has a
benefit, though. When you are shopping, and you have to get something off the shelves, your
head is now close enough to the lowest shelf that you can read the labels....
As I said earlier, going into this last test, the best case scenario was that we would try another two
months of chemo, and then evaluate if radiation was needed after that. After the previous CAT
scans had shown no shrinkage, not much more was expected, and worse was possible. But I was
hoping for the best of the worst. Thanks to prayers gone out all over the world for me, and to the
amazement of my oncologists, suddenly all of my cancer disappeared. From many sites that
wouldn't go away to nothing - with no other explanation than God deciding that I had more to do
here... I never thought other than He would keep me here. He took me through two other times I
should have been killed. Yet, the suddenness of it astounded me. I am still in shock over it.
There were many tears among my family as the news spread. The only one who doesn't know
now is my son, who arrived in Afghanistan a week ago with his Marine Reserve unit.
I have a LOT of visits to the hospital over the next six weeks. Then scans every three months for
a couple of years because Hodgkins has a high rate of recurrence, however, it is easier to handle
when caught early. Still don't know if the diabetes will go away now or will be something that I
have to deal with for the rest of my life. But there is no doubt about the miracle.
Only one oncologist, the most senior, believed. She told the others not to worry, that it was going
to come back clean. She told them that she didn't believe the CAT scans, she believed what she
saw and felt. And my color was good. My attitude was good. There was spring in my step again.
Everything she could feel before was now gone. She believed. How neat.
I think my journals will continue - ("Cancer Plus x Days"), because the experience doesn't stop
once the cancer is gone. Actually, the next weeks are stepped up activity as I go through more
"baseline" PET and CAT scans, diabetes classes, classes on how to check for lumps, eye
screenings, on and on.
For all of you out there praying for me, you are part of the miracle, and I thank you from the
bottom of my heart. Now to move on to the rest of my life, and an identity that doesn't include
cancer. What a wonderful concept. Keep on praying for those in need, and me. Prayer works.
Journal Six – “Thanks for being part of the miracle”
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